Ramblings...

...So it's finally beautiful out and I'm going to take full advantage of the weather we're having and do my errands and finish up some last minute shopping before heading over to our friends' Bill & Jen's home for a get-together...I wake up every morning feeling nauseous and with a metallic taste in my mouth and am hungry all the time....but can't eat too much in one sitting as it will cause me to VOMIT and I can't drink and eat simultaneously either ....apparently it makes me too full and causes me to VOMIT...so I digress...I am on the pursuit to find some Queasy Drops which are candies for Pregnant women that are constantly nauseous...don't know if it'll help but I will attempt anything at this point to get through my day...I really didn't think I would adhere to the cliche of eating saltines and drinking ginger ale but I fear this morning sickness has defeated me already at this early date and I will have to surrender...and try everything I can to alleviate my suffering...I will probably go to the asian market to get some ginger candy too....whatever I can get my hands on...

...Gregg and I have also agreed to wait to tell everyone our "official" pregnant news...we will wait til June 24th...I will tell Vanessa one day sooner as I believe she deserves to have her own "special" announcement...honestly...she has wanted this just as much as I have and I am very excited to tell her and have a special gift to give her to celebrate the occasion.  It pains me not to tell her yet I cannot risk hurting her in the event that a miscarriage happens...so...praying for positive and healthy developments until the announcement!

...I've decided I'm going to call this baby while inutero...Bambino/a Davis...sounds cute...totally Italian...kinda has a nice flair...lol...so I am just so ready to get the show on the road already and truly be in the pregnancy glow...

...I'm actually quite disappointed with how my body is responding to this pregnancy...I literally feel useless and have no motivation to eat because nothing tastes good when I eat it and then I have to wait to see if I'm gonna toss my cookies...so cruel....I can't say enough about this as I feel so deprived w/not getting to eat my usual treats...I do hope this will not be for much longer...I know for all of you that are following me...are probably thinking, my last few posts sounds like a broken record...I can't help it...I just can't get off these topics as it seems to be on the forefront of my mind....apologies.

...On a brighter note, we are only weeks away from going to California to visit my brother-in-law Mark and his wife, Nary and their barely 6 month old twin girls!  I am super excited about this since I get about 10 days of babyness and get to fall all over them while I am there!  I'm also excited to be in sunny weather and to relax and be away from everything crazy here.  Vanessa is very excited that Gregg was able to score 2 First Class tickets RT so we each (Gregg, Myself, Vanessa and my brother-in-law Mike) will get a turn to sit in First Class....we aren't sure who will sit in first class on the way to Cali yet but either way we will each get to be there...I am thinking Vanessa and I will sit on the way out and Gregg and Mike will sit on the way back as it's a redeye..so they'll be much more comfortable sleeping...Vanessa will be much too excited to sleep in First Class at all so it just makes sense...so we shall see...

...As I sit here blabbing away...Gregg is in the other room shredding paper....seems to be the hilight of his morning so far lol...I'm...feeling nauseous as I'm typing and am debating if I should drink or eat something...I'm so scared anymore...last night's episode of my tossing my cookies was very...profound to say the least...Gregg thought it'd be quick and to the point but apparently my body felt otherwise...I was in the bathroom for about 10 minutes and it was like a bad hangover....it had all the elements of a truly awful "day after."  The headache, the tiredness, the burn in my tummy....the dryheaving...oh it was not a pretty site..and my prissy self was so concerned about how bad I sounded as it all heaved out of my body....I was very thankful for the fact that...it was not projectile vomit.  At least, the upside w/my sickness is I have some "leeway", some "down time" before I actually throw up.  I know it's coming and can prepare myself before it happens...with Vanessa, I had no warning and no way to ready myself...I would be talking one moment and projectile vomiting the next without any signal...I almost never made it to the commode in time and have on many occasions thrown up in public, on the street, roadside, on my then sister-in-law's kitchen floor in Viet Nam....I mean, it truly sucked...

...So anyways, enough of my nonsense...I think you all get the point...I am on a mission to enjoy this day...and get some things done.  I wish you all well and that you enjoy your weekend and I will update sometime next week after my next ultrasound at 8 weeks...

...Happy Day!

Elise_Is_PG

Strong and Sticky Bean!

Words can't even begin to describe how relieved I was when we got our ultrasound today and there the baby was...clear as day....all the parts...developing just as they should....and we could see the heartbeat beating steady and strong...it was sooooooooooooooo cool!  Doc also said I should be able to make my official announcement confidently next week as the risk for miscarriage after next week goes from 25% to less than 5% and then after the first trimester, less than 2%...so now I just have to decide what I want to do....I'm just...ecstatic that I finally made it!  Last year I never made it to the 6 week ultrasound and miscarried a week before....

The doc was happy to report everything looked GREAT and that the heart rate was 166 beats per minute...holy!  She had said to me initially when they were measuring my HCG levels after I tested positive that she thought there was a "SLIGHT" chance I could have had twins because the levels were so high...insanity...could you imagine...had that ONE embryo I put back....actually split into TWO...I would have had IDENTICAL TWINS????  Holy guacamole....that would've been a story to tell...but it's not...and thankfully, I am happy with one really happy and healthy baby...I think my health risks would've been way higher and I know I would've been put on bedrest for sure and I know I wouldn't have handled that well at all....phewwwwwwwwwww.

I feel so guilty that I have...been lying to Vanessa....and keeping her in the dark, but I know it is for the best til I am very sure....I am thinking I may want to tell her next week...so she can take part in the whole process...yet it's hard as I don't want to hurt her if it isn't necessary...this is a difficult decision and I will have to weigh the pros and cons of what I decide to do.

Overall...this is truly surreal and I just can't believe we are HERE!  Yey!!!  Can't wait to "come out of the closet" officially with this pregnancy so I can just relax!

On a kinda sad note, after next week, I will "graduate" from my fertility specialist back to my regular ob-gyn and I'm not so happy about it, boo.  These docs and the staff have been like family to me for the past 2 years...and I just found out the receptionist is also preggers so it'll be nice to go through the experience w/her!!!  It'll be an excuse for me to go back and visit her...I'm on the fence about going back to my original practice since my actual doctor isn't there anymore; she moved to Syracuse, NY w/her plastic surgeon hubby and I've been heartbroken eversince.  I may research some other doctors and if not, may choose to stay at my original practice...it's convenient and it's across the street from the fertility practice so it works out better if I stay there so we shall see...

But anyways, it's an AMAZING DAY today and I am going to relish and bask in the glow of it all...

I wish you all well and have a beautiful weekend!

Elise_Is_PG

Video

Small sacrifices for a healthy baby...

....I'm 2 days away from my first ultrasound and I can't wait!  It's been quite uneventful since my last post...however, this baby definitely is letting me know he/she is active and here to stay!  Talk about queasiness, constant nausea, headaches, exhaustion and a constant blandness/metallic taste that has invaded my tastebuds...I'm not a happy camper...seriously.  I am not constantly throwing up, yet I tend to vomit after eating and everything I eat, literally has no taste...tasteless...no matter what I season my food with...it's blah blah blah which is not a great thing for a gal like me that loves food and totally enjoys eating.  It has been difficult...to say the least...and I truly hope these negative symptoms subside soon...

YET it is a very small price to pay to have a happy and healthy baby so I try to find the positive in this situation...I told my girlfriend today that I think I should just wear a tongue scraper permanently around my neck...I am constantly wanting to scrape my tongue, blech!  Mints are no longer my friend, boo.  The taste of gum makes me gag, no matter what flavor it is.  Anything that I eat that is sweet...actually taste sweeter..and believe me, that is not a good thing because anyone knows, too sweet isn't actually good...like syrupy sweet or like the kinda weird aftertaste you get from artificial sweetners like saccharin, it's that false generic fake sweet kinda taste that is totally disgusting...the kinda sweet where it makes you smack your lips together a few times like you're trying to taste what is on your tongue...whatever residue is leftover...is crazy gross! 

Salty foods seem to be my friend...the problem is...too much salt isn't good for anyone's diet and I feel like...at the rate I'm going, I migh as well just inhale salt straight out of the shaker like they're pixie sticks.  Salt on fries, salty stirfry, salty chips, everything and anything salty...and considering I just told you I'm not doing well with sweets...my husband brought home a "tub" of caramel nut clusters (it's a 2lb container bought from Costco's) and these clusters are a dream!!!  Apparently my mother-in-law and brother-in-law bought like 2 or 3 and my hubby bought one off of them.  They are milk chocolate covered clusters of pecans, almonds and cashews enveloped in salted caramel...they are...decadent and amazing and for every 2 that you eat, there is 140 mg of SODIUM in them!!!  Seriously...I could eat about 6 in one sitting!  And the only reason I can tolerate them is because of that salty that is in the caramel totally tempting my palate...OMG so good and so bad for me.

I've been eating alot of eggs and rice....Vietnamese Egg Omelet made with onions, scallions, salt and pepper and fish sauce to be exact over white long grain rice...the salty from the fish sauce is what seems to pacify me yet the stench from the sauce itself is quite....sulfuric in its odor....Gregg totally hates it when I use it, but to be authentic in my cooking, it is a staple that I love and I use less salt in my cooking because it already has a salty taste...to top it off, I add a spicy sauce in it to kick it up and that is also very fishy which he isn't too fond of.

To add to all of this food stuff...this year's increase in pollen has not been good to me and my allergies.  I am trying my darnedest not to take any meds that aren't necessary but my sinuses are totally congested and my headaches are the worst that they've ever been.  I keep trying to remember back to when I was pregnant w/Vanessa how my symptoms were and the only thing I can remember is the vomiting...I had it bad with her so it doesn't surprise me that I have it now.    I'm quite annoyed that I don't feel like myself and it's inhibiting me from doing my daily tasks...like my domestic goddess duties and leaves me no motivation to do much anything else but lay around and sleep because I'm simply...exhausted...like the wind got knocked out of me...and that is exactly what pisses me off..because quite frankly...I haven't done anything to be exhausted and this constant unproductivity is really...wearing on me...UGH.

...I know I have about 7.5 months to go and I know that these symptoms will eventually taper off as I remember with Vanessa, at about 5-6 months into my pregnancy, I was very very happy at that point.  I was eating everything in site, happy as a clam, aches and pains weren't bothering me and I slept very well until that last month and then it was torture...but that short window of relief was wonderful.  I also realize that quite possibly this pregnancy will be totally different than the last one...it could be better...it could be worst...it is...what it is....and with that...I bid farewell for now...and will be back on Thursday with the update on my ultrasound....hope y'all found it amusing and until then, enjoy Hump Day tomorrow!

Elise _Is_PG

Craving Sweets,Morning Sickness, Heightened Senses, Headaches, GERD?

....Ugh so as I was being optimistic that I may NOT have morning sickness with this pregnancy (and yes I know it's too early to know that)...I have already been humbled yesterday and last night...although it wasn't the projectile vomiting kind....it is however, the dry-heaving that takes all of your energy out of you kind...and for that...the insanity begins. 

I realize now that I have been definitely craving sweets ...I totally love chocolate and cake, cookies  and some candy but if you ask Gregg or Vanessa, I rarely eat this stuff as I am very much a SAVORY gal...I love all things savory and salty and will choose it over sweets any day of the week!  However, lately sweets have been calling my name and it's hard not to be tempted, lol.  We went to Beau Monde Creperie yesterday for Mother's Day and for the first time, instead of a savory crepe, I ordered a sweet crepe: Crepe w/bananas, nutella, and hazelnut ice-cream!  Can I say....I "INHALED" it like my life depended on it...so crazy!

...And let's just say the indigestion and slight nausea I felt as we walked around South St. afterwards didn't bode well with me at all!  On top of that...my sense of smell is like...10-fold.  Everything is much more acute which sucked since as we were walking...cigarette smoke was all the more irritating and the smell of incense coming out of the Meditation bookstore totally grossed me out...when normally I love the smell of incense.  I am so much more sensitive to my surroundings now which I don't believe to be a good thing at all lol...since I am already very "aware" of what is going on around me...this is just...too much.  When I was pregnant with Vanessa, I was only 21...and I don't think I really gave much thought to my pregnancy at that time...primarily because it was a "surprise", I wasn't trying to be pregnant and I was so young...I was just...going through the motions because I didn't know what to do...it was all so new to me ....and very surreal as I never thought I would be a mother sooo soon ...(Vanessa was conceived on my wedding night, how funny is that?!!!)

...I think I pay more attention now since this is intentional.  We've been trying to conceive for so long that it has totally consumed me and in turn the experience has been very literal...with purpose.  My headaches are coming and going as well and that is just...not a turn-on.  I hate feeling like I have no control and being limited to what meds I can take to alleviate my suffering.  Limited access to my allergy and pain meds doesn't make me a happy gal....but I am willing to make the sacrifice to get a happy and healthy baby out of it...so I am not by any means whining or complaining.

...And then there is this..GERD thing...Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease...I don't know if I am plagued w/this, but I feel like I may be.  The taste in my mouth....is absolutely........hurrendous...not metallic-y...but just like...foot odor but in my mouth??? I have no idea how to describe it, but it's gross.  I have constant phlegm and it's like I can taste the juices that are coming from my stomach...sounds soooooooo disgusting and is absolutely giving me the worst breath EVER...this is beyond halitosis....and I'm having trouble...not frequently...but taking long deep breaths, makes me cough...and there is a slight wheeze from it...I've only had one occurrence so far...and hopefully not many more...but I do believe my symptoms are of the GERD kind....if it continues, I will have to consult my doctor....just blows.

Exhaustion is getting the best of me....really slowing me down which is also annoying as I am the type that does 10 things at once and even while taking a break, I am doing something to get ahead...I have to learn to slow down and take it easy ...especially if I truly want to nurture this pregnancy to be a healthy one....just not in my vocabulary and is so hard for me to do.

But anyways, I digress....it is a beautiful Monday and start to the week...hope you area all doing well and talk more soon!

***UPDATE: this is a vlog that I recorded and finally have been able to add to this post.  Hope you enjoy it!

Elise_Is_PG

Baby's growing, woohoo!

...So today I went in for my luteal support bloodwork and also my follow up HCG bloodwork.  This will have been the 4th visit since last Friday.  Because of the IVF protocol I was on, I triggered with Lupron instead of Novarel and because of that...I have to do what they call "luteal support" which consists of the progesterone every day for an estimated 10 weeks, estradiol patches every other day for about 10 weeks and I have to get bloodwork done every week for 10 weeks...

Hey!  I am all for the detailed tests and monitoring if it ensures a healthy and happy pregnancy and results in a happy and healthy baby...so I am not complaining, lol.

What is nice about these constant visits is that I am really getting to know the staff at Penn Fertility and love that I have such an informal and very friendly rapport with them.  They are genuinely concerned w/my well being and all of them were waiting to find out if I tested positive on the HCG last week and then this week when my face blew up and swelled up like it did, they were so concerned and kept tabs on me to see that I was doing okay.  I truly love them all and am so thankful to have them guide me throughout this process.

So it seems that my pregnancy is doing quite well which is GREAT news as any new mom will always be worried and concerned...especially when you make such a financial effort and put such high demands on the body when going through any assisted reproductive procedure such as IVF--it just makes it more nervewracking if something isn't quite right or goes awry.  You would hate to have nothing to show for it if it doesn't result in a viable pregnancy or healthy baby...so it's always a concern on the backburner of my mind...

I continue to pray for all the other mommies out there trying to conceive and for those that are currently pregnant that are nurturing and nourishing their bellies and babies-to-be.  I wish them all well, great health, and for sticky healthy babies!

I am so happy to report that my HCG levels are doubling quite nicely.  As long as they are on the "rise" and increasing accordingly, it's a-okay by me!  I will do as the doctors tell me and just wait until the moment that I am considered in the clear and I can have the green light to tell Vanessa and the rest of our families.  All this time trying to get pregnant in the last 3 years truly made me re-think my career and priorities and it prompted me to pursue getting into Law School.  I've been rejected by 4 and have been waitlisted by 1...Drexel...which is the first choice school I've had all along...It will be bittersweet if I get an offer as I will have to decide at that time..which is only months away...if I will defer my acceptance or just forego it all together....God only knows I am not THAT crazy to attempt to raise an infant and go back to school...it has always been...."whatever comes first, will decide for me" and naturally, I am pregnant, FIRST so that will rule my decisions...and the rest of the cards can fall however they may fall...

Still...I am still in "transition" trying to figure out my life's work, what my purpose is meant to be...I have a few "back-up plans" that are very attainable...just depends on what happens with Gregg and his position and how I feel this time next year...oh....well...I digress...it is what it is...and my mantra seems to be, "whatever will be, will be...que sera...sera."

...So anyways...back to my HCG levels...so since the day of the first Beta HCG test, my levels were:

4/29-- 150 --confirmed positive pregnancy beta blood test!
5/1-- 354 --confirmed it's increasing
5/3-- 662 -- not quite doubled, but awesome!
5/6--2191-- definitely skies the limit and on the rise, woohoo!



My first ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks will be on Thursday, May 19th!  I can't wait!!!!  I never made it to an ultrasound last year when I had my miscarriage...it was an early miscarriage and I was about 2 weeks away from an 8 week ultrasound...so I am very thankful to have the constant visits to ensure that I am progressing as I should be.

So until my ultrasound, I am sounding off..for now anyways, lol.  Hope everyone has a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day to my mom and to all the mothers and mommy-to-be's out there, enjoy!

Elise_Is_PG

Just blabbing and blogging...

Shameless Plug...couldn't help it, lol.

...Ok so this isn't really related to pregnancy, but for me, it kinda is so...I belong to a great board on BabyCenter and a few of the ladies have inspired me to try protein shakes as they made it all sound so yummy and healthy so I figured, "eh, why not? can't hurt, can it?"  So I have to tell you GNC Total Lean, Lean Shake is amazing! 

I wasn't asked to endorse this product in any way.  I'm just so crazed that I like it as much as I do.  They  have some amazing flavors: Swiss Chocolate, Rich Chocolate, Vanilla Bean, French Vanilla, Strawberries and Cream and Cookies and Cream.  I have Swiss Chocolate and Vanilla Bean and they literally taste like a super yummy milkshake!  If you use 2 scoops per 8 oz. of water or milk or whatever liquid you want, it's EXTRA thick and you can probably thin it out a bit with some ice blended in.  Doing 2 scoops will give you 16 servings, but I actually only do 1 scoop, so it stretches for 32 servings instead. 

When I make my Swiss Chocolate, I blend it with Almond or 1%milk, some ice cubes in a blender and voila, I have a great shake!  Tomorrow I will try the Vanilla Bean with some fresh strawberries and ice in a blender and we'll see how it tastes!  I am sure it won't disappoint.  If you buy from GNC right now, they are having Gold Card week and you can almost get 2 for 1 and they have an awesome return policy where you can try it and if you don't like it, you can return it!  So ladies, keep those receipts!

Also this shake is totally safe for pregnant and nursing women to drink as it does NOT contain any creatine in it or anything harmful or that could affect your health.  It is marketed as a meal replacement/weight loss, weight management shake and honestly is fantastic, try it out!

No bed bug bites but now a swollen lip?

Here is a video update...not in the best of shape but there is always something good waiting around the corner...

Still dumbstruck...

...I still can't believe that I am pregnant!  Finally after almost 3 years...I am a pregnant....through it all, it always felt so daunting and disappointing but I was always hopeful.  I so admired those women that were willing to take their bodies to the limits with Assisted Reproductive procedures such as IVF and just putting themselves through all of the medications....I truly never thought I would be one of those women....I just...took for granted that since I had been pregnant twice before that I'd have no problems getting pregnant...how wrong was I???  and how reassuring it was that when I had my miscarriage, so many friends and family were able to console me that it was much more common than I had ever believed before.

...I am very excited to tell my parents and Gregg's family...we are just waiting it out just to make sure that we will "stay" pregnant even though we know that nothing is ever a guarantee...I just need this time to myself to "adjust" to the news as it's so surreal at the moment....It's so hard keeping it from Vanessa because I know she will be ecstatic and will be my "Right-hand Gal" and plan all kinds of fun things to get ready for the baby!  She is going to be an awesome older sister, I just can't wait to tell her!

...Chantille has agreed to take on the role of my "Exclusive Baby Registry Coordinator" lol...I am excited to start planning and nesting and all of that fun baby stuff.  I'm excited also since when I was prego before, maternity fashion was NOT a focus 11 years ago so I am excited that I might possibly look cute this pregnancy lol....compared to the generic moo-moo dresses that looked like they came off of someone's bed lol...

...It's also great that I have a handful of friends that had babies last year and then have some pregnant ones this year so our kids will be able to hang out together and it'll be the "2nd" wave of brat packs!  When I was pregnant w/Vanessa, I was, I believe the first out of most of my friends to get married and pregnant...at the young age of 21---I was "ahead" of everyone so there weren't many playdates for me and alot of my friends that did have kids didn't live close by...but most of them were single and still hanging out while I was playing house at home.

....I went for my 2nd beta yesterday and it more than doubled to 354!  I have to go every other day for a beta until it reaches 2000 and then I am to schedule an ultrasound!  I can not wait for this moment!  I'm still dumbstuck...can't believe it all.

...Anddddddddddd...we finally found a mattress!!!  Can I get an A-MEN???!!! Hallejuah, praise the Lord...I will be back in my bedroom...on a new mattress...new sheets...and completely bedbug free...yeehaw!!! Now I just have to work on fading my bite scars..blek!  they look hurrendous!  Seriously, all up my left hand and arm and then my left leg...I seriously look like a drug addict...I'm sure anyone that has seen my arm was wondering if I was one...Vitamin E, Rosehip Oil applied daily along with Sunscreen to block the rays from making my scars darker...ugh..I'm not happy about this since my skin is supposed to be one of my best traits...it's totally bringing me down...but in the whole scheme of things, it's not so dramatic ...being pregnant and healthy is the best deal ever ...regardless of the nausea, back pain or whatever else that may plague me for the next 8.5 months...the end definitely justifies the means....

...April....you have been such an interesting month thus far...Mother Nature... I hope you're not menopausal anymore and at least...give us Spring in May!  No more...dreary gloomy April Showers with bouts of hot flashes and 80 degree weather and then reverting back to 50 degree weather that brings on wind gusts, cold and damp weather...Please give us our sunny days, with a light breeze in the 70s and I'm sure we will be quite happy!  I am praying to you Mother Nature, please hear me!

Today is Gregg's Birthday!  Happy Birthday my love!  How wonderful that with this day, He will be a new Daddy-to-be!  I am so happy and thankful to have you in my life and am so excited for us to share this next chapter together!

So until my ultrasound or whatever strikes my fancy to blog about, stay tuned!  Thanks for following and keeping up to date on me and my crazy life!  Have a great day!

Elise_Is_ PG